Well. I guess the world itself hasn’t necessarily changed, but I definitely have.
And to think, I almost left it all behind before letting the change occur.
You see, I recently returned from a four month excursion to Colorado. I lived in Colorado Springs.
I began my journey in May, starting raft guide training. I trained for a grueling month and a half.
After the first 3 days, however, I wanted to quit. I wanted so bad to just quit this difficult journey and return home to my kush lifestyle of working, working out, and just breathing.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t. My mind was made up and I had to stick to my plans. So I did, and I overcame, and became a raft guide.
I must say that much of this change I’ve experienced has directly stemmed from that. I’m a more confident person. I believe that I can accomplish a lot more than I had previously given myself credit for.
I look back on my previous posts and I don’t laugh or anything, but I smile, because I am no longer that person.
I no longer look in the mirror and completely downgrade my appearance.
I no longer binge eat only to force it back up again. I am not a hateful human anymore.
Sure, there are people I don’t like, and little things I don’t like about myself. That’s just the nature of being human.
But I am not destructive. I am not malicious. I don’t fight others.
Instead, I sit here before you with the most inner peace I have ever felt before. More inner peace than I believe I had as an innocent child.
I sit here with fresh eyes, a fresh outlook, fresh thoughts, fresh. New.
Everything is intentional. Every breath is intentional.
Aside from small bouts, my anxiety is almost completely self controlled.
I do yoga daily, I am less obsessed with the results of the gym. Once again, I am not destructive.
If I miss a pill, miss a workout, no big deal, there is time. There is time for everything. There is no high degree of urgency.
Of course, I am anxious to leave school and go on to bigger, better things, but this is a different feeling.
When I got back from Colorado, I felt a sense of anxiety and fear.
Fear of getting stuck here in Minnesota. Fear of getting drug back into the unhealthy lifestyle I once practiced.
Now, I realize, as long as my mind is set, that will never be the case. I will never be stuck.
Life is about choice. And that’s one thing people forget. It can be amazing if you CHOOSE for it to be.
You can overcome yourself through spiritual discovery and yoga practice.
You can overcome yourself through natural pathways.
You just have to be dedicated. You have to be focused.
Whoever you are, wherever you are, you can overcome yourself, you can overcome your strife, no matter what it may be.